-- we were seeing each other out in the coffee house and public parks and at his older brother's place etc--. it so happened that one of my friend who was also working on her Master's degree with me was dating another of those boys from the trio. We found the safe haven to meet in his house(of course when his friend was in the house along with his girl friend. Here I need to say that this love affair was not up to and never was any thing but holding hands and rarely kissing etc. It is ingrained in our minds that sex is some thing which is left for ONLY AFTER MARRIAGE.
One fine morning I broke the news to my family ( it was the month of January 1964) that we are going to marry and that is final. Yes, it was all very difficult for every body in the family to accept this idea that I decided to marry a boy who is not chosen by the family, a boy from little different cast, just master's degree and above all a High School teacher. My mother was crying and telling me how hard it will be for me to live with small salary, and with his people who have different way of life styles(my family is konkanastha brahmins and his family is kayastha) My older sister's marriage was settled to a brahmin man living in U.S. and my mother wanted me to get similar kind of match and they were sure close to find one. I was firm in my decision and told my family so. After a long long time of anger and frustration and every thing, my older brother told my mother to accept the marriage as I was not backing off. His opinion was 'that we both will be highly educated (once I finish my degree) and will be free to lead our life. It is our decision and so be it' My sister's fiancee was coming to India for the wedding in Sept. It was decided that we both sister's get married in the same canopy day after one is married. That was very hard on me as till that time I was behaving like a nut and thinking that love is every thing. As soon as the weeding etc. talk started I got very nervous. I could not figure out whether I was doing right or I am jumping in a big problem. My mother had very hard life as she did not have great support of her husband after few years of her married life. She had four children to raise. God forbid if I get in to any situation like that then what am I going to do.
One day my would be husbands brother came to me in the college and said he wants to talk to me. I felt very scared thinking that 'what now'. He told me that my would be husband was already engaged to a girl from a distant town. It was a big blow to me and all my worries. I had to tell him that "I can't do any thing about it, You go and talk to your brother about it and it is his business" I was very angry with my fianee and asked him about it. He told me that 0he has broken the engagement long back as he stated dating me. I did ask him any mor questions.
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